VANAJA - NAGARAJAN -- the rare couple… It is hard to digest that this couple has reached its heavenly abode. We surely feel orphaned, but let us learn to cope with the reality by recalling and reminiscing over the memories of the wonderful times we had with the lovely couple and the immense love and affection showered on all of us by both these individuals who were, without doubt, superior mortals. Once in a way, we come across some personalities who make you feel that they are going to be around FOREVER. We take this feeling for granted and get along merrily. And then, suddenly, one fine (!) day they manage to disappear. Athimber was one such person -- in my life. And then there are a few who, we wish, were around FOREVER. They are so good to you that you NEED them FOREVER. Athai was such a person -- to me. My father died when I was just six; I hardly had him to miss him! My mother gave us a Mandalam's notice (48 days) to prepare for the loss. It is NOW that I feel more orphaned than ever!
As two individuals, Vanaja-Nagarajan, hardly had anything in common.
Athimber was an extrovert (or so I thought), jovial to the core, highly intellectual, and well at ease in any circle -- be it among kids, relatives or a highly erudite and professional group. Wherever he went, he made his PRESENCE felt. Athai was somewhat an introvert, fairly jovial but recluse at times, one who simply and unconditionally loved everyone. Whenever she left, she made her ABSENCE felt. The way they made themselves COMPATIBLE WITH EACH OTHER is a lesson -- a very tough one to learn but a very important one at that. The way Athai carried herself through so many trials and tribulations of life, coping with all sorts of situations and supporting Athimber in literally everything, was akin to a SAINT; making him happy was a PENANCE that she engaged in till the very end. While one spent most of his life in helping many find their feet and then climb the ladder of career, the other was supporting this cause by catering (pun intended) tasty, delicious food and serving with the ladle (hand) of love and affection as that of a mother. What a noble intention and attitude! And… what wonderful support!!
These days, prospective brides and grooms talk about 'compatibility' as the most important factor for an alliance (identical qualifications, career interests, financial status, hobbies…). Vanaja and Nagarajan, when they got married, could by no means have been compatible to each other -- either in terms of looks, or qualification, any trait or attribute for that matter. But... instead of expecting the other to be compatible, each was prepared TO BE compatible to the other. That was the simple truth, gospel, the basis, and the beauty of their relationship. It's an art that both of them had mastered. And this is not a secret or a mystery that we cannot decipher. But being lesser mortals we find it hard to let go our ego and practice this art!! Amidst all the husbands and wives who are MAD AT EACH OTHER, we got to see this rare couple that was, really, MADE FOR EACH OTHER. Rather, it was not already made, but THEY made it! For each other!! If only we all could take a leaf (each) out of their book, we would be much better off! I said earlier that they didn't have anything in common. Perhaps they did. Shah Rukh Khan once wittily said that he and his wife had something common: "She loves me, and I love me"! My dear Athai, Hats off to you!!
Ram 21 March 2011 (Nephew)
Even though, we know Athai left us, like everyone one of us has to part with one day, from this world, it was a great shock and i am further saddend with Athai's demise, when we feel that we are not going to see her any more. I am sure that no one can ever think of filling her place as she had lot of love for all of us and i remembered my younger days until now, all the happiest moments which I had with her and a very good thing about her is that she would greatly enjoy and appreciate the wonderful jokes (of Mumurthigal) i think u very well understand) along with the company of Athimbare etc. really touching moments and so enjoyable to be in her company which i can never forget. but I felt very fortunate atleast i visited her last in November when i had a short visit to chennai and shared lot of things about music and wat not. But i am still feeling very much for the very unpeaceful life she had after Athimbare left her, even though Mr.Paremeshwaran fly etc was looking after her fantastically and did his duties to her till her last breath.
Athai had utmost patience & dedication in each & every action, very rarely to come across. Even my father used to mention that he would enjoy her coffee and her lunch whenever he visited. her and every time I visited she is used to serve a grand lunch & after that definitely a very good coffee prepared by her even though she knows very well that her health doesn’t allow to strain much. She gave most of the music compositions books to me last year which are really useful to me in advancing my music journey.
Viswanathan (Nephew)
It is with great joy that we celebrate the lives of Mani Amma and Daddy. I can't believe that it is already a month since Amma passed on.
She is survived by S.P. Prabhakaran (brother), Eashwara Anna, Ambulu Akka, Appa, Babu, Mohan, Kala, myself, Ramu, Panju, Thyagu, Vijaya, Vichchu and many others from our family, the youngest under 10 Ishitha to the oldest above 70 Madurai Mama (students) and many relatives and friends who had the great bhagyam to be associated with her!
She raised me (and many others) since my childhood and I fondly called her Mani Amma and her husband Late. V. Nagarajan (my mothers brother) as Daddy! They were made for each other couple!
She was taken care with at-most love and devotion with my Ambulu Akka, Eashwara Anna, Kalyani Mani, my sister Kala and many others during her days of brief illness. Born in a musical family known as Dindugul siblings, she was an under-recognized Carnatic musician.
Her brothers were the famous Dindugul S.P. Kalyanam, S.P, Rathnam (Violin), S.P. Natarajan (Flute - Mali's student), S.P. Sethuraman (Violin) and S.P. Prabhakaran (Flute).
She married Daddy (V. Nagarajan) at the age of 18 and became Mani to extended family members. They were lovingly called as Athan and Mani. Everyone adored them and they were the link to all relatives in the family who would throng to visit them with great fondness.
She gave concerts in many temples all over Tamilnadu and Television channels under the banner Sarva Mangala Bhajan Mandali.
She considered Bharat Ratna M.S. Subbalakshmi has her maanaseega guru. On one occasion, she was a lead singer in a Dance Drama Sundarar directed by Appa and MS amma had come to see it. At the end of it, MS Amma came to the stage and praised Mani Amma for singing "Piththa Pirai Coodi Perumaane" with intense passion. Mani amma considered that as the biggest award in the whole world.
Along with my mother, she set to tune many songs composed by my father.
Dr. S. Ramanathan was training a group of Carnatic enthusiast in our house and he would request Mani amma to sing " Venkatachala Nilayam" and he would say " nee padarada kettunde irrukkalam".
She trained many students in Carnatic music for the past 50 years and many of whom are accomplished musicians.
She had a great passion for cooking and would make all kinds of dishes in excess to feed everybody and will not rest until everybody is fed. She made so many batchanam for me last year with at most love! There was no match to her wittiness in our family. She made people laugh all the time and will continue to do so in our memories!
Daddy was such a dynamic personality and he affectionately called me as Uma Kutty! He was in fact my best Friend! There were so many happy moments in my life with him, be it music, education, movies, circus, anything and everything. It is indeed very rare to be associated with a great couple like them. His command over the English language was phenomenal. Even till his passing he tutored many students in English and Hindi. He was a great lover of Carnatic music and encouraged Amma to the best extent possible.
I will cherish my fond memories of them for ever!
May their soul rest in peace!
Uma (Daughter)
Nagi was a force that generated lot of love, friendship, laughter and conversation. he had interest in everything from politics to philosophy, travel to training. On top of it he can express himself well whether it is Tamil or English or Hindi with all levels of people.
Nagi was the dynamic one extrovert to the nth degree and vanaja was the best companion quiet and waiting to help him all the time. They were an outstanding couple well matched. The jostyar who compared their horoscope had done a great job of recommending them as partners. Vanaja was the one who made Nagi shine like a star. she was a simple and friendly lady ready with a smile and a cup of coffee as soon as we stepped into the house. Both of them used to make all the visits to their home worthwhile.
I was told that she has been sick for sometime and thinking of all that, we are all relieved that she didn't have to spend time in bed suffering. of course the whole family would have taken care of her irrespective of the condition . But many times it is good for the individual to reach the feet of the Lord and also their dear one waiting their for their arrival.
I am sure she has joined Nagi at a place where there is no sickness or suffering or visits to drs and medicines and shots. She will be making Nagi smile once more with happiness.
All we can do is to pray for her soul to reach the feet of lord Guruvayurappan.
Gopi Gopalan (V. Nagarajan’s Friend)
